Crying

Why do human beings cry?  It's truly a mystery to me.  We cry when we are happy.  We cry when we are sad.  Angry, hurt, scared....

But why??

What is the purpose?  Does it make us feel better?  Or just give us a headache?  

Sometimes, there is an urge to cry that is so intense, nothing can stop it.   It can be scary to start crying at times, because there is no telling when it will stop.  If ever.  

Controlling emotions can be nearly impossible, but we all do it 99% of the time.  Because we know that if we didn't, we would be acting in socially inappropriate ways most of the time.  So everything goes through a filter.

Some people "wear their heart on their sleeve" meaning show their emotions, openly and without shame.  Is that good?  Healthy?  Or should we be more protective of our poor hearts?

How do we protect our hearts?  Is it, in fact, possible to do?  

Tears are falling.  For myself, for my dreams, for my kids.  

Don't we all dream of having a perfect life?  One where we are happy, live at peace with ourselves and others.  Where simple problems have simple solutions, and there are no complicated problems.  

I don't know.  All I know at this moment is crying.

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve.  45 minutes until it is officially Christmas Day.

Today, I signed papers at the lawyer's office to file for a divorce.  It's kind of surreal.

I started thinking about the great promise that 2014 holds for me.

And then I thought about Jesus talking about tearing down the temple and re-building it.  I feel as if my life has been dismantled.  Torn down.  But I realized tonight, that this is just a step in the process.

Now, I begin re-building.

Merry Christmas.  Love and hope for the New Year.

D

Starting a Blog

Starting a Blog

Today I decided to write a blog.  I don't know why.  Well, yes, I do.  I've been inspired.  By some amazing people.  Who share about what makes their lives blessed, challenging, painful, and completely joy-filled.

I am convinced I will never be as forthcoming or inspirational.

Yet, I have been through some struggles and maybe, just maybe, one person might be able to relate to something I write and think "I'm not alone."  That will be worth whatever useless things I may also say.

Mostly, my life revolves around my kids and my work.  So anyone who doesn't want to hear alot about kids, should just ignore me.  

But it's more than just about kids.  It's about families, relationships, nonsense, and God.  It's about who I am and who the people I cross paths with are.  And how we are all trying, in our own way, to be the best "me" that we each can.  

It will never be about judging or condemning, but sometimes it may be about frustrations and disagreements.  About how we all need to figure out how to get along in a world where everyone is not the same.  

Let's see where this takes me.